Time for personal reflection and future inclinations:
Before I begin, I'll warn you that I have been more emotional, frustrated, and angry than I think ever in this industry. This will be a rather long post, but trust me--you'll find it either entertaining, depressing, enlightening, or pretty much all of the previous bound together.
I would rather lose more money than lose what, I feel, I have lost recently.
Emotion? Does it have a place in this crapshoot of surfing? No, it doesn't, & in a perfect, emotionless world...it wouldn't be. When you find THAT particular world...email me immediately...I'll be there. It's easy to write and say "leave emotion out"...but, face it...MONEY in itself is emotional....whether we are making it...or losing it.
So, why is it any surprise that we actually can become emotional (one way or the other) towards admins? I'm going to give you some, somewhat, personal insight into what makes me tick...what makes me the 'way I am sometimes'...I rarely 'let people too close' to me..I don't have time or energy for drama...manipulation by people..backstabbing BS, etc...it ticks me off royally.
I've been hurt more times than I can count in my life (as have many of us)...
So, once I met my husband--I decided I didn't care to have too many 'friends'--the one I did have then moaned & groaned about me NOT spending more time with HER..and less time w/my husband and young son (at that time)....I would sacrifice all I could for her...loan her money when she was in dire straights (which was often), and feel my energy drained.
When I met "Stormy" during my look at TN, we talked business only. I gained and verified certain info about her model...and as the months progressed (7 good ones in all)...we began a bonding during which we talked about everything you could imagine: political stances, religious beliefs, childhoods, past events in both of our lives, children, loyalty, the world in general, and on & on...I planned on taking my whole family to visit her on my spring break...
it was more than business...I even used to joke with her that somewhere along the line--my dad MUST have met her mom and we were somehow sisters...we laughed a LOT...just stupid stuff...
and it was good....or so I thought.
I know everyone out there who has lost here may never believe she is what I found her to be from April-late Oct.
All I know is what we shared as friends...which is why this is taking a BIG toll on me...
If it were JUST business, I'd be pissed..but, would get over it....but, having to sit & question every freaking talk we had--and wonder--is driving me nuts.
Now, here I sit...wondering how to help members...I DETEST anyone losing money--especially if they were there because of me.
Granted, I always advise to get seed money out...always. I always do and thats why my losses financially do not outweigh my wins.
I give people a lot of my own money when this shit happens...because even though I KNOW in my head--people should get seed out fast...etc...& my heart bleeds for the ones who got in late--and didn't get to experience TN when it was strong.
See...my stance on loyalty, I have found, does not fit in this industry...it SHOULD--but, once again...I tend to confuse idealism and realism...(ok..I don't confuse it...I wish for idealism--which is stupid)...
I am a VERY loyal person...to my detriment--even in my personal life...(I'm Italian...now you understand)...I 'assume' it's normal to be loyal....if someone gets your back...well, duh: you get theirs!! Right? Not in this industry, people.
It's RARE.......I see that..................now.
I vow to never allow myself to mix the business with friendship...not in this.
I will let you know what I know...with what I think based on logic alone....and the data, of course.
I have been great at being able to knock out who will 'hit & run' by scamming us....now, I need to somehow 'divine' when they will 'change', 'withdraw', 'alienate', or have any other multiple personality disorder.....(searching for that special rod)....
I can do what I do & thats it. I challenge anyone else to dig like I do...and find the things I have found. People only remember when you muck up...they usually fail to remember the times you saved them from a scammer who comes back hiding behind some other site(s)...(ie: 5050club)
I think it's time for me to do 2 things right now:
I went to log in to Todd's Surfsite "Monitor"....found myself banned. Why? Hmmm...wish I knew. I have posted there 4x in 3 months...last time was when TL came back..and I was answering questions. I have NO idea why I was banned...but, I find it totally irritating and disloyal. Like I did anything to anyone there--but, oh well.
This is what I mean about loyalty. The way I (and many) define loyalty in our lives is NOT the same loyalty in this damn industry. I have questioned whether I can even BE in this industry--as I even left advertising sales years ago-because even though I made a lot of money...I couldn't stand the lying...backstabbing and disloyal people.
In my field of gifted education, I get very anxious when I cant change things...I feel that anxiety here...the knowledge that 'this is how it is'...gets me sometimes.
I either have to accept it...or move on. I'll let you know what I decide.
Will let you know when I do.
As Always,
Happy Surfing
Before I begin, I'll warn you that I have been more emotional, frustrated, and angry than I think ever in this industry. This will be a rather long post, but trust me--you'll find it either entertaining, depressing, enlightening, or pretty much all of the previous bound together.
I would rather lose more money than lose what, I feel, I have lost recently.
Emotion? Does it have a place in this crapshoot of surfing? No, it doesn't, & in a perfect, emotionless world...it wouldn't be. When you find THAT particular world...email me immediately...I'll be there. It's easy to write and say "leave emotion out"...but, face it...MONEY in itself is emotional....whether we are making it...or losing it.
So, why is it any surprise that we actually can become emotional (one way or the other) towards admins? I'm going to give you some, somewhat, personal insight into what makes me tick...what makes me the 'way I am sometimes'...I rarely 'let people too close' to me..I don't have time or energy for drama...manipulation by people..backstabbing BS, etc...it ticks me off royally.
I've been hurt more times than I can count in my life (as have many of us)...
So, once I met my husband--I decided I didn't care to have too many 'friends'--the one I did have then moaned & groaned about me NOT spending more time with HER..and less time w/my husband and young son (at that time)....I would sacrifice all I could for her...loan her money when she was in dire straights (which was often), and feel my energy drained.
When I met "Stormy" during my look at TN, we talked business only. I gained and verified certain info about her model...and as the months progressed (7 good ones in all)...we began a bonding during which we talked about everything you could imagine: political stances, religious beliefs, childhoods, past events in both of our lives, children, loyalty, the world in general, and on & on...I planned on taking my whole family to visit her on my spring break...
it was more than business...I even used to joke with her that somewhere along the line--my dad MUST have met her mom and we were somehow sisters...we laughed a LOT...just stupid stuff...
and it was good....or so I thought.
I know everyone out there who has lost here may never believe she is what I found her to be from April-late Oct.
All I know is what we shared as friends...which is why this is taking a BIG toll on me...
If it were JUST business, I'd be pissed..but, would get over it....but, having to sit & question every freaking talk we had--and wonder--is driving me nuts.
Now, here I sit...wondering how to help members...I DETEST anyone losing money--especially if they were there because of me.
Granted, I always advise to get seed money out...always. I always do and thats why my losses financially do not outweigh my wins.
I give people a lot of my own money when this shit happens...because even though I KNOW in my head--people should get seed out fast...etc...& my heart bleeds for the ones who got in late--and didn't get to experience TN when it was strong.
See...my stance on loyalty, I have found, does not fit in this industry...it SHOULD--but, once again...I tend to confuse idealism and realism...(ok..I don't confuse it...I wish for idealism--which is stupid)...
I am a VERY loyal person...to my detriment--even in my personal life...(I'm Italian...now you understand)...I 'assume' it's normal to be loyal....if someone gets your back...well, duh: you get theirs!! Right? Not in this industry, people.
It's RARE.......I see that..................now.
I vow to never allow myself to mix the business with friendship...not in this.
I will let you know what I know...with what I think based on logic alone....and the data, of course.
I have been great at being able to knock out who will 'hit & run' by scamming us....now, I need to somehow 'divine' when they will 'change', 'withdraw', 'alienate', or have any other multiple personality disorder.....(searching for that special rod)....
I can do what I do & thats it. I challenge anyone else to dig like I do...and find the things I have found. People only remember when you muck up...they usually fail to remember the times you saved them from a scammer who comes back hiding behind some other site(s)...(ie: 5050club)
I think it's time for me to do 2 things right now:
- take a break from all the forums & a lot of other industry related things for awhile
- start my own site (with the help of some very wonderfully talented people)
I went to log in to Todd's Surfsite "Monitor"....found myself banned. Why? Hmmm...wish I knew. I have posted there 4x in 3 months...last time was when TL came back..and I was answering questions. I have NO idea why I was banned...but, I find it totally irritating and disloyal. Like I did anything to anyone there--but, oh well.
This is what I mean about loyalty. The way I (and many) define loyalty in our lives is NOT the same loyalty in this damn industry. I have questioned whether I can even BE in this industry--as I even left advertising sales years ago-because even though I made a lot of money...I couldn't stand the lying...backstabbing and disloyal people.
In my field of gifted education, I get very anxious when I cant change things...I feel that anxiety here...the knowledge that 'this is how it is'...gets me sometimes.
I either have to accept it...or move on. I'll let you know what I decide.
- New sites on my list are doing well; I'm VERY impressed with Mike from Manic Ads...well laid out & planned site. I haven't gotten the chance to talk to Mike yet...will try soon.
- I also joined Ryan's: Denali Surf...and I like it so far.
Will let you know when I do.
- XLO...well, well....I wondered if the TFT would hit XLO...
As Always,
Happy Surfing
Hey Mrs. Vee, You're always welcome to hang out with us in the CEPCoast forum. The energy there is so much better than any other place. ;-)